wilwheaton:

At work today I saw a young mother putting something into her shopping cart, she had a small child with her. I don’t remember if her hair was red, or blue – it was something bright – in a cut that immediately reminded me of my daughter.

It’s sort of weird how I so quickly forgot what this young mum looked like as soon as my daughter popped into my mind. And with that thought was a wave of…

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When I low carbed in like, 2004 - it was pretty easy. The weight fell off fast and i felt amazing.

I also was drinking a lot then - and not carby stuff. I think it was easy to replace the carbs with alcohol.

Now, I’m 3.5 years alcohol free and trying it and my binges are just shit.

Sometimes its related to pot. Puff a small bit and get the munchies and because during the week im working non stop physical , when i come home and have a puff i want to eat everything lol.

So - 1) don’t smoke pot unless I’ve recently eaten. Because a) the munchies seem related to how low my blood sugar might be before I puff. b) It might be my body’s natural reaction because I worked 4am-12:3pm, eaten only once from 6pm the night before to 9am the next day - and while walking 14 km per shift - My body is like HOLY FUCK what are you doing. Bitch, feed me.

2) Don’t let myself get too hungry at all. Remember that food is fuel. What my body NEEDS is not what my ‘little me’ WANTS. So rather than starving and then binging on crap, even 'healthy’ crap, think about nutrient content of food i have on hand. Ignoree what the cravivng wants, give my body what it needs.

3) This body of mine needs love. Don’t’ hate on it just because my hands keep shoving garbage into my mouth. Because that low feeeleing of self just makes me feel worse and when i feel badly i am more likely to self harm with addictive behaviour. Overeating.

What a weird creature we are. Or at least I am anyhow.

The self hatred/lack of self love we express is amazing. We can tell our kids to not eat dessert before dinner, or to clean their room, wash their face, don’t smoke, don’t stay up late - but we can’t even follow our own discipline.

We know what we need, we tell ourselves that we will go to bed earlier, eat better, more water, more exercise, finish that project —– but we don’t. We get caught up in hundreds, thousands, millions? of little self thoughts. Interesting things on Instagram, Junk food late at night playing video games, feeding into our void - taste stimulation , visual stimulation, thought stimulation—– and the void grows and we are exhausted.

You Don’t Age Anymore, My Sweet Girl

23 years old when you took your last breath.

But it was 30 years ago that your lungs first felt air.

Three decades since you left the warm waters of my womb and introduced yourself to the world.

I wish that I had paid closer attention to each moment,

studied the way you smiled and

with eyes closed, let your voice fill my ears.

I regret not writing your laughter upon my heart,

and not…

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ladynoirisback:

Loona and Octavia together

azulbun:

Doodles of human Stolas! 💙